Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
