also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
