it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Jerry, you need to find god
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
