i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
