i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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