Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
