New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize