That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
