Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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