How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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