Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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