If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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