Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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