I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
