"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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