so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
