How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
