It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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