I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize