i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
