he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
