Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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