I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
