the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
