Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
