who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
