I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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