ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
They are going to name an STD after you.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
