I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
