you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
