You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Randomize
