Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
