is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
