i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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