Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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