im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
