he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
