He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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