So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
