I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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