In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
