This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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