He disabled his match.com account in front of me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
