So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
