So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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