The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
