The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
