I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
