Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
