Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
