better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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