I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
