I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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