So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
