There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
