I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
