Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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