Do vagina's smell?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
