You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
