he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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